about me

i’m quartz and i’m an old hag.i tweet and delete often because i cannot handle the mortifying ordeal of being known.i like your turn to die/kimi ga shine, ace attorney, stardew valley, the persona series, mouthwashing, and RPG maker games. my other interests include reading, writing, and fountain pens.please do not follow me if you are a minor, agree with radical feminist ideology, or if you condone harassing individuals over fiction.

fic notes

• in the house of white lilies

• night eats color

• seven swords of melancholy

in the house of white lilies

The poem referenced in The House of White Lilies is “La libertadora” by Ecuadorian poet Medardo Ángel Silva. The liberator in question is, of course, death, but here I have interpreted it with more fatalistic optimism. The dual iconography of white lilies fascinates me—they’re an important part of both weddings and funerals in many predominantly Christian cultures.The incorporation of the deleted “chores” scene from the movie was indeed intentional, haha.

das shicksal einer puppe

“‘If you knew what I’ve been through,’ he says, ‘you would think this merciful’” is an allusion to the Gavins’ “elaborate and tragic” backstory that was ultimately scrapped.Please excuse any medical inaccuracies. I am not very smart.

night eats color

This was an extremely difficult piece to write. If you read all the way through, I am eternally grateful.The line “[...]before he boards a ship from which he can never disembark” comes from the Japanese phrase 乗りかかった船 (norikakatta fune), which literally means “the ship already boarded,” and is used idiomatically to refer to a point of no return. I’m partial to the phrase “crossing the Rubicon,” but I didn’t think that would be culturally appropriate, haha.The poem in Nanako’s anthology is a piece by Chinese writer Yi Hu titled “Summer Days, 2: The Horror of Eternal Sunshine.”The eponymous poem referenced in night eats color is “Backside” by Chika Sagawa. I thought it was a germane choice for the subject matter and a tendency on which I find myself falling back: the emotional world made manifest in the physical environment. The grim imagery had a heavy hand in informing the tone of this piece.Sawako Nakayasu translated the poem from the original Japanese. In her translator notes, she writes:Many of Sagawa’s poems operate in a fashion similar to a tableau or montage, placing images one after the other in the reader's eye[…] “Backside” is such a poem, with the addition of a surprising turn in the very last line: “And then the people move forward.” This gives the poem a sudden sense of time and direction, as well as a clear human presence. For a poet whose poems are often tinged with loss, this final line is uncharacteristically optimistic, although ambiguously so: into what are the people "moving forward”?What, indeed?

seven swords of melancholy

If you’ve reached this point, thank you for taking a chance on this fic that is undoubtedly not many people’s cup of tea, haha. I set out to rewrite a piece I wrote several years ago, but it’s less a rewrite and more a complete reimagining.The title and in-line excerpt are still from “La chanson du mal-aimé” (“Song of the Poorly Loved”) by French poet Guillaume Apollinaire. It was fun to find a different part of the poem to use as a lodestar and the process reminded me of how mesmerizing and thematically rich the original poem is.Aizen Myo’oh (known as Rāgarāja in Sanskrit) is the Hindu/Buddhist deity that embodies the conversion of romantic and sexual desire into enlightenment. Bleach Aizen’s whole arc is about his attempts to achieve godhood and his ultimate failure to transcend. Just thought I’d mention those things for no reason whatsoever.

the exploitation of humanity

Thank you for joining me on this journey of bold and unapologetic self-indulgence. It was surprisingly difficult to construct the dynamic between two antisocial individuals who take themselves very seriously, but are also very stupid.I did not touch on the fact that Shelly would snipe Matt’s ass as soon as he left prison. Bodyguard, perhaps? Forgive the creative liberties.The title is derived from “Babes of the 80s” by Lebanon Hanover.“These days it’s crucial to be silent and comfortable
The exploitation of humanity that learn to accept it all
In my generation, I will never fit in
I should be sane, but I want to murder, murder everyone”No one asked about my atrocious music taste, but if you do happen to curious about the musical inspirations for the chapter titles, I’ve made a playlist right here.

commissions

Examples. My general body of work may be found here. Examples of my commissioned work may be found here.Pricing. I currently have one option available.
Option 1: 2500-3000 words, $70Process. Please DM me on Twitter or send me an email at [email protected] and include the following information:- Source material
- Character/ship
- A general description of what you would like the piece to includeI will send you a short synopsis or outline for your approval. After you have approved the synopsis and provided payment, I will send the first excerpt of your piece, at which point you may request changes or alterations to the content or writing style. After this point, no further revisions will be made except in the case of technical errors. I will send a second excerpt prior to completion.Payment. After we have come to an agreement on the content of your piece, I will send you an invoice via PayPal. I ask that payment be made in full up front if possible, but I am open to split payments on a case-by-case basis.Timelines. I’m a very slow writer; as such, I cannot promise delivery within a specific timeframe. I aim for 2-3 months. I will communicate with you if I anticipate that there will be significant delays.Will do/won’t do. I am willing to write all subject matter and kinks with the following exceptions:- Urethral play/insertion
- Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamicsI reserve the right to decline commissions that I feel uncomfortable with.Refunds. You may request a refund at any time prior to your acceptance of the first excerpt. No refunds will be provided for completed work. If the final work isn’t to your liking, I’m happy to work with you within reason to get it to a place where you are satisfied. I reserve the right to cancel a commission at any time and for any reason and issue a full refund.Source material. Please refer to the below list for source materials that I can write for. If your canon isn’t listed, please don’t hesitate to ask. Some of my fandoms are so small that it isn’t necessarily prudent to list each and every one.

commission status

Updated: 07/11/2023
Slots: 0/3
Waitlist: Closed

Slot 1 (Your Turn To Die): In progress, 600 words
Slot 2 (Persona 4): In progress, 300 words
Slot 3 (Bleach): In progress, 400 words